Waitaminit, I Thought It Was the Other Guys Who Hate Canada...

How little Lindsay Stewart thinks of our country

When judging the current state of Canadian politics, few people could be faulted for looking at the leadership being made available for Canadians and wishing for a little better.

On that note, it's hard to say that the best of Canada's political leaders on offer is the one who would happily dismember it. Well, hard for most people. Not so much for Canadian Cynic colleague and bloglodyte Lindsay Stewart:

"On the debates featuring the five hideous trogs being foisted off on a poor, hapless Canada, I'd rather watch a dog eat its own vomit than sit through the spectacle of these substandard leaders trying to best one another. Spin the bottle, no matter where it lands, we all lose. From this piss puddle deep pool, who would make the best PM? Duceppe, sad but true."

It would be hard to distort Stewart's comments even to make them take on the slightest resemblance to saying anything positive.

The Canadian blogosphere's maitre d' extraordinaire has just anointed a separatist leader as the best possible Prime Minister out of Canada's available candidates.

Interestingly, however, it turns out not to be so much any particular quality of Duceppe's that has Stewart to this conclusion, but rather his seething hatred for Prime Minister Stephen Harper:

"For the leader almost sure to form the next government I feel only contempt, distrust and a creeping patina of fear, given the damage that his ideological bedmates down south have caused. And since Harper is at best a copyist, there is reason to fear. Grave dancing asshole Gerry Ritz made the prediction so I don't have to, wait 'til the Cons have their majority, then all bets are off."

Apparently, the one thing Stewart fears most in the world is another conservative government. And apparently, he fears it more than the dissolution of Canada that would occur if Duceppe got his way:

"Stephen Harper is the worst thing that's going to happen to this country for the next four years. He is a true believer and what he believes in is Stephen Harper. That is also the name of what he loves best and when things go against the grain of Stephen Harper, he will act with all the petty wrath of a self centered narcissist, drunk on power. Harper is a man with many swords, just ready for others to fall upon, as nothing will ever be his fault. Canada will vote for this wretched little king because we are stupid."

Moreover, not only does Stewart not fear the destruction of this country more than he fears a Conservative government, he believes that other Canadians are stupid for not sharing that hysteric fear.

"We have allowed these creatures to gull us into believing that they are the capable, stable and secure choice to lead us in a frightening world. They achieved this conviction through a non-stop campaign of character assassination, manipulation and juvenile bull shit. And they let us pay for the millions of ten per centers that they shipped with our own money, to help do it."

For Lindsay Stewart to accuse anyone of "character assassination, manipulation and juvenile bull shit" is, in and of itself, pure comedy that really need not be commented on here.

Stewart's ramblings get even more bizarre, frantic and Mallick-esque as his increasingly monotonous invective continues. But it does end with a very telling statement:

"When it comes time to vote, vote against the Steve Harper Party, don't let Gerry Ritz become a prophetic voice."

Apparently, in Stewart's mind, all Canadians should vote not for something, but rather against Stephen Harper.

In various Quebec ridings where the choice is increasingly becoming a choice between a Conservative (federalist) candidate or a Bloc Quebecois (separatist) candidate? Vote BQ. Duceppe would make the best Prime Minister anyway.

It's shades of Buzz Hargrove all over again. We all remember how that turned out.

But the irony in this particular little online tantrum is frankly so thick that even Lindsay Stewart -- however wracked by cognitive dissonance his psyche may be -- should be able to grasp it.

After all, Stewart has indulged himself of accusing Stephen Harper of "hating Canada". His notorious blogmate has also gotten into the act -- as well as lead the charge in denouncing Canadians as "stupid".

Yet when it comes down to the fate of Canada, Stewart seems to find the destruction of Canada via Quebec separatism favourable to a Conservative moderation of the escalating statism that has swept our country over the last thirty years.

Given the choice between Harper and the Conservatives and the ascension of Duceppe and the Bloc Quebecois -- one that could only end with the destruction of Canada -- Stewart apparently isn't able to put his derision for Harper aside.

Stewart wouldn't be willing to put aside his hatred of Harper -- a federalist leader -- in order to save Canada.

To accuse a political opponent of hating Canada is typically a very small-minded thing to do. But if Stewart's unwillingness to choose the survival of the country over his own petty hatreds doesn't qualify as unbridled hatred of Canada, one may be forgiven for wondering what does.