Bush Promises to Help McCain Win Whitehouse

Probably won't mention that "illegitimate black baby" thing again

For John McCain, certainly one more endorsement couldn't have hurt.

After all, he's piled up endorsements from virtually every prominent Republican in the United States, most of his defeated opponents, and even a few Democrats.

Now, he's just received his biggest, most important endorsement from... President Bush?

Aw, fuck.

It may seem counter-intuitive to suggest that an endorsement from the sitting president would be a bad thing... if you're a complete idiot.

But considering Bush's continually plummeting approval ratings (32% of polled Americans approve, 66% disapprove) Bush's approval could prove to be a major obstacle for McCain.

Certainly, an endorsement from Bush will help McCain better access the Republican base. This could be helpful.

But what Republicans desperately need to do right now is access soft Democrat voters -- the very voters that Bush will absolutely repel from McCain's campaign.

Bush's endorsement of McCain could prove to a boon to the Democrats, just as Ralph Nader running for President will prove to be a boon to the Republicans, just as it has in the past.

Of course McCain accepted the endorsement in his typical fashion -- very politely, and with underwhelming enthusiasm.

"I appreciate his endorsement, and I appreciate his service to our country," McCain announced.

Then again, there's also the issue of trust. After all, if you're John McCain, just how far do you trust the guy who's presidential campaign fraudulently suggested you have an illegitimate black baby? Probably not too terribly far.

And certainly, Colonel Clusterfuck probably thinks he's really throwing McCain -- and his party -- a bone on this one.

Common sense suggests otherwise.