Dispatches From Terrible Music Land

Approximately a year ago, Lindsay Stewart (aka Pretty Shaved Ape) released a self-produced album of rockabilly-esque music. Or something like it.

Recently, the Nexus received a bootleg recording of one of Stewart's performances. Apparently, the scene was not pretty.


(Before any zealous members of the Clowncar Brigade raise their hollow objections, yes this is a joke. Also, hat tip to Maffew of Botchamania fame.)

Creepy, But I'll Do Ya One Better

With Canada's progressive blogosphere ever-so-slowly turning away from the edits of King Robert the Bacon-Fisted, the Canadian Cynic Temple of Sycophantic Groupthink's resident answer to Paul Walker has apparently decided that dedicating music videos to people is the proper response.

It's creepy, but two can play at that game.

So in honour of bad actors everywhere, here's a little something to think about the next time someone happens to be experiencing the misfortune of reading a blogpost by Mr I-was-in-a-bad-movie-with-Angelina-Jolie-for-30-seconds-and-now-my-career-is-over.

The Lindsay Stewart Acting Troupe

Cry Harder, Lindsay

One would think an actor would want the spotlight

Yep. It seems safe that we can now confirm Waterloo actor/waitress (read: failed actor) Lindsay Stewart among our readers here at the Nexus.

Now, I'm sure Lindsay would like to think I spent a lot of time uncovering his (her?) identity. Actually, I didn't. It was actually revealled to me by an individual who will go unnamed here.

And personally, I'm very comfortable with my phsyical proximity to mr (ms?) Stewart -- or, more pointedly, lack thereof. Like many people, I try not to be in the presence of vicious, hateful people. But I digress.

Apparently, what Lindsay wants to take issue with most is me is my characterization of her as a failed actor. That's fair enough. I take issue with her description of the Nexus as "an online toilet".

I mean, hey: I don't attack grieving mothers for political reasons, wish death upon other people, or take obvious pleasure when a political opponent comes under fire in a warzone, but I do my best. Apparently, according to Lindsay, my greatest crime -- aside from refusing to tolerate the bullying directed at others by herself, her blogmate, or their equally vicious (and also unmasked) cohort, Martin Rayner -- is being a "conservative blogger".

And I totally didn't see that coming, either.

As much as Lindsay would like to list her "major motion picture" and "indie film" appearances as evidence of some sort of great success, the fact is that this doesn't really mean much. Hell, I can answer a classified ad and go appear in a "major motion picture" this week, probably in about the same capacity as the totally-not-a-failure Ms Stewart.

To make things even more amusing, however, Ms Stewart has asked me for a list of my acomplishments.

Gee, Lindsay, you only had to ask:

The fact of the matter is that I'm a published writer. If Lindsay's appearance in various indie films and recording projects qualifies as success, I would certainly suggest that she's no more successful than I:

"Lest we forget this Remembrance Day

"Desire Munyaneza should be deported

"Our country's other heroes deserve recognition as well"

"Tories in need of Reform

"So long and good riddance, Ernst Zundel"

"Society has itself to blame for Dawson shooting

"Women in parliament a broad issue" (Please forgive the pun, I don't write the headlines.)

"Much hot air emitted in Carbon tax debate"

"America's Funniest Republican Home Videos"

Of course, this is just a brief excerpt from my published works.

I'd like to think that the fact that I've published this work (and more) while also going to University full-time and recieving (more or less) straight A's, I'd say that I have, to date, been fairly successful in my chosen profession.

So if Lindsay, like Marty and Cynic, want to fall all over themselves looking for something to attack me for, my occupational success, as a student and as a writer, really isn't one of them.