Over time, Heather Mallick has become something of the Jerry Springer of Canadian political commentary: one simply never knows what she's about to do next.
A recent op/ed published on the UTV website is Mallick at her lunatic best. It's so incoherent that one's almost shocked it never made it onto the CBC website.
This time, it seems the provoking factor for Mallick's insanity is none other than the Olympic games. It's driven her into hysterics over Stephen Harper:
"Whenever Stephen Harper's big boxy grey-lidded head appeared on screen, with its wet smile (note on his hand: Try to grin like normal human), I would rant at anyone within hearing, ie, no one. 'He's Bush with a mean streak, he's a Slytherin , we only gave him a minority government in a prolonged fit of pique.' (Then I'd say it in French, out of bilingual idealism.)"Over trees:
"The event gave the impression that Canadians spent their time posing on pointy mountains, paddling navy blue lakes and staring at evergreens (anti-deciduous to an extent that verged on the racist, I say), surrounded by snow snow snow, more snow than air. And we honour the wisdom of our aboriginal peoples, whose land we, well, stole but they have forgiven us and dance at our Olympic ceremonies."And nature in general, and aboriginal affairs:
"The event gave the impression that Canadians spent their time posing on pointy mountains, paddling navy blue lakes and staring at evergreens (anti-deciduous to an extent that verged on the racist, I say), surrounded by snow snow snow, more snow than air. And we honour the wisdom of our aboriginal peoples, whose land we, well, stole but they have forgiven us and dance at our Olympic ceremonies."Apparently, it's unthinkable to Mallick that the Olympic opening ceremonies should feature an appearance by the Prime Minister, the wrong type of trees, and aboriginals who don't hold historical grudges.
Apparently, the presence of these things made for a terrible opening ceremonies.
"I spent it sobbing," Mallick writes. "Thanks, Olympic organisers!"
Mallick then goes on to implore the organizers of the London 2012 Olympics to do better.
One can't help but wonder what Mallick would have preferred that the ceremony be wrought with comparisons of Sarah Palin to porn stars. Perhaps she'd have liked to see the Prime Minister covered in green slime as a follow-up.
Considering that Heather Mallick so prefers Britain that she now publishes her embarrassing attempts at political commentary there, one can only hope that she'll enjoy the London 2012 opening ceremonies enough that she'll decide to stay and frighten small children there as opposed to doing it here in Canada.
Excellent post. It is funny reading some of the rants of the angry people.
ReplyDeleteI am having fun with some over at Macleans. Seems some people think Omar belongs back in Canada having been a guest of Americans long enough.
It is funny having them reintroduce the double standard of the Liberals and use of the RCMP. It's almost if they were ignorant of our history, or the Liberal record.
I consider it to be something of a truism that anything that makes someone as extreme as Heather Mallick this upset is actually a very good thing.
ReplyDeleteThis woman needs to be institutionalized. I have received congratulatory messages from people outside Canada who have declared our opening ceremony as the best they have ever seen. I myself thought it was great and that we outdid China.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with her and people like her that they hate Canada with a vengence?
I'm not sure if I think Mallick hates Canada. She simply hates the idea that Canada can be anything but what she personally thinks it should be -- a far-left ideological construct.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciated the opening ceremonies. thought it was visually stunning and quite appropos in representing Canada.
ReplyDeleteTHe only slight negative was the singing of the national anthem--our anthem should never be converted into some soft-pop-rock teeny-girl hit song... bt it wasn't her fault--the planners approved it...
But still, that didn't diminish how fantastic the opening ceremonies were. People who are yipping about it should really knock whatever chip they're carrying on their shoulders off.
Yes, the O Canada rendition had me grating my teeth. Mainly because for the most part she wasn't actually changing it, just singing it at a much slower tempo. She'd drag a syllable out as far as possible, and hit the next note at the last possible moment so she was still keeping time, though more slowly. Even the band lost its place partway through. So you can't really say she was butchering the song, simply singing it slower. Still, I didn't really like it.
ReplyDeletePlus, after the vice regal salute (first half of God Save the Queen), who had the idea to use the last bars of O Canada as a kind of bridge? I don't think that is actually following protocol.
Well I got that wrong, the vice regal salute does include the first four and last four bars of O Canada after the first six bars of God Save The Queen.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't thrilled with the stylings of the O Canada performance, either.
ReplyDeleteIt was different, but not necessarily in a good way.